Labels can be tricky tags to wrangle. Perhaps they fall into the 80:20 rule – 80% of my experience is explained by 20% of the stereotype. I identify as British Born Chinese – literally born in Britain, with genetics that say Chinese. But what else might I share with other people who identify as British Born Chinese? My experience growing up in a takeaway differs to someone who had parents who weren’t in that industry. I’m other in Britain, where it’s still novel to me to see another Chinese-looking person on the streets where I live. I’m other in Hong Kong, where my parents came from, because I’ve always been a tourist. These years of being other in different settings remind me that a sense of belonging doesn’t come from surface similarities.
Take the label BAME – Black Asian Minority Ethnic. I use the term because it’s a commonly used one but I don’t like it. I have a general sense that the commonality shared by these groups is a sense of other, a sense of being different from the majority. On this basic level, I imagine this sense of other is similar to those felt by the LGBTQ+ community. There is this prevailing norm that we don’t fit with, but then that’s where the similarities end. It diminishes all the nuances in our experience. For instance, amongst BAME people, we have different experiences based on how our name is perceived, our accent, our daily routines.
I don’t diagnose the difficulties people experience with their wellbeing. But just as with identity labels, I recognise that one person’s experience of depression is different to another’s. What helps for one person could be the complete wrong thing for another. When I work with someone, I’m trying to help them explore and understand their unique experience. Research might tell you that 90% of people found benefit in method X, but 90% of the population isn’t you – with the combination of your genetics, your parents, when you were born, your educational and socioeconomic opportunities. All of these factor into the stories that you tell yourself, as well as the tools and resources available to you.
